An unplanned pregnancy comes with many difficult decisions, and many will consider giving a child for adoption. Some decide to begin raising the child, but due to a variety of life circumtances, they may find their way into foster care. In each case, biological parents and adoptive families will need to create a plan about the level of communication that will benefit everyone involved, especially the child. The path you choose is very personal, but you don’t need to make it alone.

Levels of communication between biological and adoptive parents are broken down into three choices. Each offers different levels of interaction and has pros and cons. Making a loving plan will allow everyone to enter into an agreement with clear expectations. Ultimately, as the birth mother, you need to choose what makes you feel the most comfortable.

Open Adoptions

Generally, open adoption means there is ongoing contact between the birth and adoptive parents after the process is complete. Both parties work with an attorney to draw up a contract so that the agreement is in writing. Most adoptions in the US are open to some degree. This option continues to evolve as researchers study the benefits of continued contact.

Pros:

• It reassures you that you have done what is best for the child.
• The child knows their background, and there are no secrets.

Cons:

• Boundaries can be blurred or contractual agreements misinterpreted by one party.
• Expectations may not be met by one or both sides.

Semi-Open Adoptions

In a semi-open adoption, non-identifying information can be exchanged between the birth and adoptive parents. Typically, it is facilitated by a third party. It is a middle-ground option for birth parents who do not want to cut off all communication but are not ready to be in direct contact.

Pros:

• Privacy on both sides is protected.
• You continue to hear about your child’s well-being, offering peace of mind.

Cons:

• Contact may be lost over time.
• Technology makes complete privacy difficult.

Closed Adoptions

Closed adoption does not allow any identifying information to be exchanged, the parties do not meet each other, and there is no contact once the adoption is finalized. It is truly an anonymous process. Closed adoptions are becoming less common. Depending on state laws, the birth mother may request more communication should she change her mind.

Pros:

• Allows for closure and for you to move on with your life.
• It reduces feelings of doubt stirred up through regular communication.

Cons:

• The child will not know their background, including medical history.
• You may experience lingering feelings of curiosity about the child.

Giving a child for adoption is an emotional time, regardless of the age of the child, and adoption choices may seem overwhelming. The level of ongoing communication you want to maintain with the adoptive parents is an important decision. Heart of Adoption Alliance caseworkers will be by your side through the process and place you with a match who agrees with and respects your wishes. Contact us to discuss concerns at [email protected]. We will find your child a loving home providing a level of interaction with which you feel comfortable.

The United States is a party to The Hague Convention on the Protection of Children and Co-Operation in Respect of Intercountry Adoption. We receive questions routinely from families that reside overseas asking if they can adopt domestically from the United States.

If a United States citizen resides overseas, either because they are ex-pats or in the military, can they adopt domestically in the United States? The United States Department of State has issued guidance on this matter.

FAQs: Identifying an Outgoing Case

What if a State court has a question about the status of an outgoing case for the
Central Authority of the receiving country?

The Department can work directly with the Central Authorities of receiving countries to try to resolve any questions about whether or not an outgoing case may be treated as a domestic adoption or a Convention adoption as well as to resolve other case-specific questions. However, State authorities are encouraged to contact the Central Authority of the Convention-receiving country directly. The Central Authority contact information is on the Hague Conference- Private International Law website Authorities page.

How do you determine whether the Convention applies in a case involving U.S. citizen prospective adoptive parent(s) residing abroad who seek to adopt a child resident in the United States?

U.S. citizen prospective adoptive parents should consult the Central Authority in the convention country where they live for a determination of habitual residence. The Convention country in which a U.S. citizen’s prospective adoptive parent is living may determine the U.S.citizen to be habitually resident in that country such that the citizen should follow a Convention process in order for a U.S. resident child to legally enter and reside in that country. As noted, the State court should defer to any such determination by a foreign Central Authority.

Would the U.S. Convention process apply in adoption cases where a U.S. citizen living in a Convention country is considered not to be resident in that country and is seeking to adopt a child resident in the United States?

If the Central Authority in the Convention country in which a U.S. citizen’s prospective adoptive parent is living determines they are not habitually resident in that country, the U.S. citizen may be able to process a domestic adoption in accordance with the applicable laws and regulations of the U.S. State where the adoption takes place. The prospective adoptive parent should ensure the child will be able to enter and reside with the prospective adoptive parent in the country in which they reside.

What about military and other U.S. government employees stationed abroad?

In determining the application of the Convention, absent specific provisions of foreign law, the habitual residence of military or other U.S. government employees stationed overseas is addressed in the same way as that of other U.S. citizens.

More about Daneille:

Daneille joined Heart of Adoptions Alliance, Inc. in 2003 and works in the Naples office, handling the social work and legal needs of our clients in Southwest Florida.   She has been providing support and guidance to adoptive families since 1997 prior to joining the agency.   She was instrumental in opening a Guatemalan incoming program and assisted in creating many families before the country closed to international adoptions.   Daneille is experienced in domestic and international adoptions.  She is responsible for assisting in educating and screening new applicants, supervising birth parent counselors, home studies, post placements, and matches between birth and adoptive families. Daneille is also a licensed private investigator in the State of Florida.

Daneille has been working in the legal system since 1983 and received her paralegal certificate of completion from Florida International University in 1986.  She received her Certified Legal Assistant (CLA) status in 1987 from the National Association of Legal Assistants and in 1988 from the Florida Association of Legal Assistants.  Daneille is also a Florida Registered Paralegal.   Daneille received an Associate in Arts Degree in Criminology from Edison Community College in 1996 and received a Bachelor’s of Science Degree in Criminology from Florida Gulf Coast University in 2006.

If you have opened your heart to the idea of adoption, consider giving a foster child a forever home. Foster care is a temporary arrangement for the care of a child when their birth parent is unable to do so. It can be done informally or formally through a court. While the goal is reunification with the birth family, that is only accomplished with half of the foster cases. Consequently, there are many foster children up for adoption. 

Children can be placed into foster care due to abuse, neglect, or other reasons that are no fault of their own. According to recent data from the Administration for Children and Families, there are currently over 423,000 foster children in the United States. 

The system has many loving, wonderful foster children available for adoption. If you long to grow your family while providing a child with a permanent home, there are two ways to adopt a foster child.  

Foster to Adopt 

You may choose to be licensed as a foster parent with the intent of adopting. When you foster a child, the first goal is always to reunite them with their biological family. When this is not possible, adoption becomes an option. Around 25% of children in foster care will be adopted, and typically by their foster family. There are many benefits to fostering before adopting:  

• Children have more stability since they are not moving from home to home.  

• Potential parents can begin bonding with the child and parenting right away.  
• Foster and adoption agencies can easily assess the suitability of the home for the child.  
• Adoptive parents can begin nurturing a valuable relationship with their child’s biological family for a healthy transition for everyone.  

Direct Foster Care Adoption 

There are over 120,000 foster children up for adoption and awaiting their forever home. You can work with an agency, like Heart of Adoptions Alliance, to assist you with the process of adopting a foster child. It is vital to realize that a child in foster care has undergone some level of trauma. To provide them with the specific care they require, you will attend special training to understand how to cope with their physical and emotional history. The median age of foster children waiting to be adopted is between seven and eight, but ages can range from infant to 21. 

Adopting a foster child can be inexpensive with the federal Adoption Tax Credit. Most children receive a monthly subsidy, Medicaid benefits, and tuition assistance. In many cases, parental rights have already been terminated by a judge. You will be providing a stable, loving home to a child in a temporary situation.  

Choosing to adopt a foster child can be life-changing for both of you. These children did not choose to be placed in an unstable environment. Opening your heart and home can completely change their path in life. Without your willingness to adopt, eventually, they age out of the foster care system to face many difficult challenges as an adult. 

There are many programs to support you before, during, and after the adoption is complete. Reach out for more information about foster adoption or ask questions about your current situation by calling 866-432-7860 or emailing us at [email protected].